It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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