Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
