he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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