Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
