i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
