I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
