pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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