My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
