the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
