Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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