A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
