You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
