yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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