Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
