Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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