i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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