Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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