How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
