Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
