i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
