New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What a dumb baby whore.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
