is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
