her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
