I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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