Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
