Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
