too bad you live with your parents still
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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