My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
