google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
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