I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize