He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he thought i was a dude.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
