yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?