is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
