and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
tell me about the fingering
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