Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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