Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
