doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Come on in and take your pants off
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize