okay pat passed out under dana's car
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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