he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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