I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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