Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
