It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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