Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
