Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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