i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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