Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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