i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
