well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
