i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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