Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
