dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
