How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Damn victory sex feels great
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize