at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
